Friday, June 08, 2007

Ribbons Undone

Dr. E-ho Mlle. (ahem, a nickname he embraced) entered my life in 2002, and we became friends from the inside out. I knew his heart (expansive, fearless) before I knew his afternoon snack habit (Twix, vanilla latte), which, oddly, felt like a natural progression. I confided in E w/ a directness reserved only for him, and he was always ready w/ wise words, a hug, and/or a wildly inappropriate sex joke. His blue eyes jumped and his skin, pearly like the moon, flushed easily, leaving his cheeks always pink. I've never seen a more alive looking person. Last Saturday E passed away, beat by a relentless disease that he fought for years. As Pea aptly put it, he is finally rid of the fucked-up body that held him trapped for so long.

In the wake of the break-up, E sent me an email that dissolves me every time I refer back to it. This is one part, and I know he wouldn't mind me sharing. You know those nights, when you're sleeping, and it's totally dark, and absolutely silent, and you don't dream, and there's only blackness? This is the reason: it's because on those nights you've gone away. On those nights, you're in someone else's dream; you're busy in my dream.

I love you, E. I won't ever lose what you gave.

Posted by princess kanomanom @ 1:30 PM