Monday, September 18, 2006

Loss

Since starting this job almost a year ago, religion has entered my life in a unique capacity. And when I say 'my life,' I don't mean it as much internally as I do externally--learning the beliefs of those close to me, beliefs very different from my own (to the extent that I understand 'my religion'). Accounts of sensitivity around the holidays--one of our Jewish CEOs requesting, indirectly, that my friend K remove the small tabletop Christmas tree decorating her desk; the total acceptability of Jewish employees opting to stay home on all Jewish holidays--plus the very visible, very vocal role that faith plays in the lives of two dear coworker-friends, have meant a whole different exposure than I had back in Seattle, where close friends and family tend to be less dogmatic in faith.

But in the confines of my NY office, it's very prevalent. Both of the coworker-friends I mention sing Gospel music aloud, and the one I sit next to routinely says 'praise God' while on the phone w/ friends and family. Sometimes every ten seconds. This same person, whom I have loads of respect for, I regularly bombard w/ questions about how God (as understood by her) accounts for various violations of human rights past and present, disease, premature death, etc., etc., etc. It always circles back to 'God's will,' to the incapacity of us mortals to see the greater picture/purpose. No surprise there.

K being black, and the two of us being okay w/ talk about a range of sensitive subjects, I brought up the question of slavery the other day, wondering how she feels--the emotions she experiences--when she reads books/watches films/hears accounts of how blacks lived and suffered during those times. Does she get angry? Sad? Incredulous? All of these, she explained--three in a long string of emotions, each and every time. Then I asked about (her) God's role, about how such a being could stand by as such immense tragedy played out. Because I just cannot get over this particular implication of a Christian god. (I know I'm inconsistent w/ the caps.) She hesitated, started to say something, and then brought up something else. I could tell it was difficult for her, which to me is the least surpising thing in the world.

This morning I sat down at my desk to find an email from Crazy Chrissy in my inbox. Expecting an invitation to some fun event--maybe a concert, a reading, happy hour--I fast realized this was an email of an entirely different nature. It was a message forwarded her by a coworker from a previous job--from Bowne, the placed I last temped before taking my current job, and the place where I met the lovely Chrissy. This coworker had written a brief paragraph explaining how one of the Bowne (later Lionbridge) VPs, Larry Wade, had been in CA for a wedding back in August. He and some pals had gone for a hike, and upon reaching a river, they decided to go for a swim. There was a waterfall, and beneath it, a strong whirlpool. Larry got caught up in it, and his friends were unable to get him out. He died, leaving behind a wife and three little kids. While I never had a full conversation w/ Larry, he was always very gracious, waving hello each time he walked past my desk. He hailed from Dublin, and he never failed to make me smile w/ that boisterous accent. He was all-around pleasant to be around, just so warm. He struck me a real dad-type, too, and I have no doubt he was an excellent father to his children. He was 42 at the time of his death.

Friends and family put together a tribute website where people can upload photos and write testimonials, and if they so desire, donate money to be put toward the kids' education. What an incredible, and incredibly loved, man.

Posted by princess kanomanom @ 11:45 AM