Writer Sprout

Monday, January 23, 2006

Rattus norvegicus

I had no idea what I'd been missing. Ok, I sort of did, but not like now.

So yeah, I finallyfinallyfinally took the plunge: I treated myself w/ the remainder of my RW compensation--the small part left once I'd relinquished a much larger part to my boss, whose December expense check I mistook as a holiday bonus, subsequently dropping it in my checking account and... oh, it's a long story, and one that makes me sound like an idiot. Moving on, I have to question the merit of ever removing the earbuds. It's just so nice. So nice. Because now, see, the wince-reflex won't kick in w/ the reverb of certain individuals' office-voices. I simply won't be the wiser. Yes!

Other: I started reading the rat book over the weekend, and wowie, who knew the little ickies were so complex? Actually, I don't really find them icky--or at least I'm trying to change my heavily socialized ways of viewing them. They make daily feasts of garbage? Aw, so will foxes. They bite babies? Well so have dogs. They sometimes hiss? Hello--cats? They have tails that look like really long worms? Eh, well, ok, that's gross.

Really though, it's a good read. Robert Sullivan staked out a rat-happy alley near NYC's South Street Seaport and proceeded to spend consecutive evenings hangin' w/ the 'dents--isolating personalities, observing social patterns, befriending them. Over the course of A YEAR, no less. I'll admit to being a bit curious, curious as in I'm highly anticipating tomorrow morning's run. We're not far from Edens Alley, see. I want to know exactly where R sat, and hell, if I can catch a glimpse or two, well that'll be fine. Oh geez, I make them out to be rarities. Ahem.

Anyway... Know that rat teeth are almost as strong as steel? That they can gnaw through concrete? That they spread apart when the rat's eating, and that a flap of skin hangs down between them to prevent them from ingesting rocks? They also run faster than people tend to think (but it's so fun to apply the word lumber to them, no?), and they have a great, great deal of sex, and not always w/ regard for gender. Oh my. And I've only just begun.

The book goes beyond straightforward facts and observations, outlining an exhaustive history of rat infestation in the city. In 1960s Harlem, for instance, half of all living quarters were thought to be flooded w/ rats. A man whose name I'm not recalling led huge protests, calling for extermination efforts the gov't refused to fund. It took years, but the neighborhood finally got the attention it needed, and down went the rats, drowned as they were in baths of beer/peanut butter/bacon/et al. Now that's icky.